Celebrities Need Help Too Blog Entries

Paula Abdul is CARAZEE

Saturday, January 13th, 2007


OK, my FAVE story of the past week had to be Paula Abdul’s drunken lunacy. Seriously, it made my Friday. I feel bad for her, sort of, except for the fact that she shouldn’t have been on whatever she was on before she went on television. National TV or not […]

Christmas Came Early for Mel Gibson

Wednesday, December 20th, 2006

Wondering what to get your famous, slightly loony actor/director friend this Christmas? Did that life-sized crucifix he asked for turn out to be too expensive? Can’t find that Christmas Carols Sung in Dead Languages CD in stores? Never fear, there is one perfect present for Mel Gibson this holiday season: a DUI. And — oops. […]

Can Somebody Take Nicole Richie’s License Away, Please?

Thursday, December 14th, 2006

As much as I am loathe to revisit Nicole Richie when we have already oversaturated our dear readers with news of the troubled gal’s foibles, this is kind of too good to pass up. TMZ is reporting that this ain’t Nicole’s first time at the DUI rodeo — she was arrested for DUI in 2002 […]

Hey Nicole Richie, Try Midol Next Time

Wednesday, December 13th, 2006

Unlike us mere mortals who take over-the-counter remedies when surfin’ the crimson wave, Nicole Richie settles for nothing less than several Vicodin and a few bong hits. According to Us Weekly, Nicole Richie blames period cramps for her recent DUI and is rather peeved about the inaccuracy of the LAPD scales:

Tara Reid is DRUNK again

Wednesday, December 13th, 2006

I wish this was shocking news. Alas, ‘tis not. And yes, Ms. Reid looks absolutely shlotted in this picture. Sad, sad Tara Reid.

Kirstie Alley a Fat Actress Again

Tuesday, December 12th, 2006

Ooooh, Jenny Craig is SO gonna kick her ass. Based on these photos, there might be some kick back, but…who knows…maybe they’re photoshopped to make it look like she gained back all the weight she lost the minute she went on Oprah and showed off her new, slimmer figure on Oprah. Seriously, I wish people […]

Lindsay Lohan: Clean, Sober, and Dillusional

Tuesday, December 12th, 2006

Lindsay Lohan is maturing before our very eyes. After a year (a year? really?) of AA, Linds finally realized that her illegal drug use had taken a back seat to her drinking, which, let’s face it, is horribly unfair to the drugs. She told PEOPLE how she’s rectifying this problem:

Al Gore Neither Invented the Internet Nor Told Lindsay Lohan He Would Help Her

Friday, December 8th, 2006

Why on earth would boring people with nothing important to do — like, say Al Gore, Sen. Barack Obama or Bill Clinton — choose not to comment on the grave national crisis that is Lindsay Lohan? Al Gore’s rep would barely admit that the he had ever even spoken to Linds, let alone that he […]

Wesley Snipes No Longer Much of a New Jack Hustler

Friday, December 8th, 2006

Wesley Snipes’ criminal record is looking as dismal as his IMDB page these days. The actor surrendered to Orlando police and was arrested on tax fraud charges filed last month while Snipes was filming a cowboy movie in Namibia called Who Cares, No One Is Going To See It Anyway. If convicted, he faces up […]

Jessica Simpson’s Breakdown on VIDEO

Tuesday, December 5th, 2006

Well, every once in a while things go my way and shizz we hear about but think we’ll never see appears…miraculously…and we get to see them. What has appeared, you ask? Video footage of Jessica Simpson losing her shizz onstage while performing a Dolly Parton tribute. Forget about the fact she looks like she is […]

Madonna and Guy Ritchie Hit Rock Bottom, Head to Couples Therapy

Tuesday, December 5th, 2006

Well, there had been rumors about these two for years – a strain in a marriage here, a strain in a marriage there. You know what’s a straw that breaks the camel’s back? A Malawian baby named David. And apparently that’s what happened. Madgie pants and Guy are apparently not doing so hot, and have […]

Britney Spears is Today’s Favorite Blind Item

Tuesday, December 5th, 2006

OK, I don’t know about you, but I’m not a moron. I know a Britney Spears blind item when I see one. The carazee thing is that today we’ve discovered 4 blind items that are screaming Brit’s name in glory.
Which recently separated celeb has a new habit to go along with her new friends? The […]

Russell Crowe’s Publicist Quits

Monday, December 4th, 2006

You know it’s bad news when Russell Crowe’s publicist quits. That guy is insaaaaayne. [Source]

Jessica Simpson Royally Screws up Dolly Parton Tribute

Monday, December 4th, 2006

So we all know – or maybe y’all didn’t know but I know that Jessica Simpson is a huuuuuuuuge Dolly Parton fan. So big, in fact, that she was slated to tribute Dolly at the Kennedy Center Honors by singing 9 to 5. Well apparently Ms. Simpson got a little stage fright in the middle […]

Anna Nicole Smith Evicted from the Bahamas

Friday, December 1st, 2006

This is it my friends – Anna Nicole is getting booted from the Bahamas. We all know she’s been court-ordered to cough up baby Danielynn’s DNA for a paternity test, but now…now…Anna’s homeless. Anna’s flack of course is saying she isn’t homeless, but we know she really is. I don’t even know how to fully […]

K-Fed’s Lawyer Says No Sex Tape, Bummer

Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006

FedEx’s lawyer has come out and said there is no sex tape. He then said, if you’ve been in an accident and need to sue someone call me at 1-800-LAWYERS. [Source]

Seriously, What Happened to Claudia Schiffer?

Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006

Seriously, what is going on in this picture of Claudia Schiffer? Did the model police come and arrest anything that made her pretty and/or famous? Did her stylist quit? Hairstylist is on strike? Dentist vengeful and added wonky teeth/smile? Please, please…help me understand. [Source]

Three Actors Walk into a Bar…

Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006

I had to put this news up for two reasons.
1. I love Reese Witherspoon and I’m terribly devastated about this “thing” she’s going through in her life.
2. What the hayl are Reese Witherspoon, Renee Zellwegger and Bruce Willis doing together eating a meal?
I know this has to be fake simply because of the randomosity of […]

Why in Haysoos’ Name…

Friday, November 17th, 2006

Doesn’t Lindsay Lohan wear underwear when she wears mini skirts/dresses? Honestly, that’s all I’m gonna say. If you wanna see the poot, click here.

Ashlee Simpson has Caught Hollywood’s Parasite

Friday, November 17th, 2006

Ashlee appears to be getting on the way too thin side of fat lately – not unlike every other “young starlet” in this crazy town. Any moment now we’ll have a statement from her reps telling us:

Ashlee’s been under a lot of stress and has been losing weight.
Ashlee […]