Ashley Olsen Blog Entries

Damn I’m Old: Celebrity Birthdays

Friday, June 13th, 2008

These celebrities were born on June 13:
Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen are 22.
Magician Siegfried of Siegfried and Roy is 69.
Comedian Tim Allen (”Home Improvement”) is 55.
Bassist Paul DeLisle of Smash Mouth is 45.
Soren Rasted (Aqua) is 39.
Rivers Cuomo of Weezer is 38.
Steve-O (”Jackass”) is 34.

Barista tried to fatten up the Olsen Twins

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

A former Starbucks barista has admitted to switching whole milk for skim when making coffee for the Olsen twins.
“The barista thought the were too thin, so whenever they ordered their usual drink, he would replace the skim milk with full-fat,” said a source.
Sadly, her nefarious plan didn’t work.

Olsen Twins offered Playboy spread

Monday, March 3rd, 2008

Hugh Hefner wants Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen to pose nude for Playboy.
“Hef thinks the twins are every young man’s fantasy,” according to an insider.
Every young man’s fantasy?  More like every pedophile’s fantasy.  These twins may be 21, but they look like 12 year olds.

Olsen twins launch heroin chic clothing line

Tuesday, September 25th, 2007

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have developed a clothing line for frail skinny women.  It’s called the Elizabeth and James Collection (don’t ask me why it’s called that; I have no idea).
According to Ashley:
“[The collection] is intended for a woman who wants a designer garment but cannot afford it.  It’s a sophisticated woman with a playful […]

Olsen Twins … the Next Bond Girls?

Thursday, May 17th, 2007

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are in talks to be the first Bond girl twins.  The former Full House stars are negotiating to appear in the next James Bond film featuring Daniel Craig.
According to gossip columnist Janet Charlton, the producers are offering the girls a clause in their contract stating they would not have to shoot […]

If Mary Poppins’ Name was Ashley Olsen and her Bag was a $9,000 Fendi…

Thursday, January 4th, 2007

This is what it would look like. Also, it appears Ms. Olsen has gone back to blonde. Thank god – I was not digging her as a brunette. Now if only Mary-Kate would go back to being a sandy brownette, the universe might, just might, start feeling back in order.