There Are No Words to Describe the Crazy That Is OJ Simpson

Well, the time has finally come. What time is that? Crazy time. I kinda felt this might happen one day, you know, when OJ figured out that Double Jeopardy wasn’t an advanced round on Alex Trebek’s game show. The Juice is writing a book called “If I Did It,” and it will offer a “hypothetical” account of how he murdered Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman back in 1994. MSNBC reports:

The former football great, who was acquitted in criminal court 11 years ago of killing his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ron Goldman, reportedly has been paid a whopping $3.5 million to write about the double murder that shocked and riveted the nation in 1994, according to a detailed report in the new National Enquirer. But Simpson is not actually confessing to the murder — rather, he’s writing a “hypothetical” book — which the Enquirer reports is tentatively being called “If I Did It.” The early part of the book tells how Simpson fell in love with Nicole and how the marriage collapsed, reports the tab. He goes on, according to the article, to describe in gruesome detail the killing of his ex-wife and Goldman; he stipulates that the murder scenes are “hypothetical.” But, notes the tab, the descriptions are “so detailed and so chillingly realistic” that readers are left with little doubt as to what really happened.

Words cannot describe the blech-factor that is this book. I’d like to say, “What about your children?” but if he killed their mama, why would he care if they were upset he decided to “hypothetically” describe the murder? I don’t know if I’m gonna read this one – I prolly will, but I’ll buy it from Amazon so no one sees me buying it.

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