A WT Gift of Love
In the grocery store today, I happened upon the glorious sight that begins to emerge every time this year: The Hickory Farms Sausage Gift Sets Display.
Hickory Farms is like, the epitome of class to the WT. We love the processed meat products, but after living a life of SPAM consumption, Hickory Farms is like licking diamonds.
I remember one year at Christmas, my cousin Mitch was home from prison (again) and he gave his mom—my Aunt Adele—her present. She opened the present and her eyes lit up brighter than the glow of her cigarette. She’d received a deluxe Hickory Farms Sausage Set, with cheese and mustard. The top of the line.
Now, Mitch was a kid who’d been nothing but trouble most of his life, and had just ended his third prison term, no doubt about to start his fourth. But Aunt Adele gave him such a look of love then, you’d have thought he was the best son the lord had ever made.
She gazed at her present and let out a big breath. “Oh my gaaawd! It’s Hickory Farms!”
Now whenever I see a holiday display like the one I witnessed today, it’s the first thing I always think of: “Oh my gaaawd! It’s Hickory Farms!”
Oh my gaaawd!
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October 28th, 2005 at 1:14 pm
Ah, the ghost of Christmas past. Are you my long lost cousin?
October 28th, 2005 at 2:24 pm
hey Wendy!! I’m pretty sure I am! But just to be sure…did you daddy go to prison for getting drunk on moonshine and falling asleep naked in K-Mart?
October 28th, 2005 at 3:20 pm
Nah, that was my uncle in front of the pool hall, and he was wearing his dress overalls - you know, the ones without holes.
October 28th, 2005 at 4:07 pm
I love the uncle with the dress overalls! That rules and so do you.
November 1st, 2005 at 6:34 pm
Dude! Is everyone in this country a redneck? Gosh! i thought i was the only real one left!
November 1st, 2005 at 7:06 pm
hi Ellie! Nope, there\’s enough to start a revolution!