The WT On: The Girl Scout Way

Alice bounced up and down on Shannon’s stomach and tried to make her fart.

Shannon turned towards me, her face red. “Rooster,
help.
” Her words gasped out in a whisper.

“Get off her, Alice. Mrs. Hamilton’s coming.” I was lying but Alice wouldn’t have listened to me otherwise.

Alice hauled herself to her feet. “Whatever. She farts and I’ll prove it. Of course, hers probably smell like roses.” She landed with a thud beside me on the wooden bench. Shannon finally crawled to her feet and sat on the other side of me, brushing the dirt from her bright green uniform. She stuck her tongue out at Alice, who didn’t see, which was a good thing. I made the mistake of doing that once and Alice had reached right over and grabbed my tongue, squeezing the end between her fingernails.

“God, I hate camping.” Alice fiercely chewed the end of one thick black braid and glared at the green and brown tents that had sprung up all over the hard ground like dusty mushrooms. We used Pigeon Park for our campouts, a mile-long strip of hard-packed dirt with some scrawny trees fighting to stay alive underneath the broiling sun and the hands of hundreds of Girl Scouts who visited every year.

Shannon sighed. “We all hate camping. I hate Girl Scouts.”

“Me too.”

“Me too.”

Alice rolled her eyes. “Loser alert.”

Mrs. Hamilton walked towards us, steering a chubby girl by the shoulders who stared at the ground. Mrs. Hamilton stretched her mouth tight over her teeth in the fake smile she always gave us. “Hello girls. Having fun?” She looked down at the new girl. “This is…what was your name again, dear?”

“Serendipity Jones.”

“Yes, well…” Mrs. Hamilton shook her head and stretched her lips over her teeth again. “She’s new. Her parents just moved here. Show her around, would you? Remember, being nice to your fellow troop members is the Girl Scout Way.” She left, her hair bouncing obediently against her back.

We sat and stared at the new girl. Serendipity Jones was the kind of girl nobody would sit next to in the cafeteria, you could just tell. Even worse than us WT kids. Pudgy, with pale skin and white-blond hair, she wore a uniform that was too small and already wrinkled and stained with sweat. She shoved her glasses up on her nose and looked at us with watery, pale blue eyes.

Alice spoke up first. “What the hell kind of name is Serendipity?”

Serendipity stared hard at us and when she spoke it sounded like a teacher lecturing naughty children. “Serendipity means finding valuable or agreeable things by accident. For instance, suppose you were swimming in the ocean and bumped into a treasure chest. My parents weren’t expecting to have me but they did.”

“So you were an accident?”

Serendipity crossed her arms and sighed like she was talking to complete idiots. “No, a
surprise
. A valuable one.”

Alice snorted. “If that happened to my parents they would’ve named me Oh-shit-the-condom-broke.”

Shannon giggled and Serendipity stormed off.

It’s the WT Girl Scout Way.

My troop could totally kick these girls’ asses.

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