WT Monsters
The WT parents have their own ways of keeping their kids in line: drugging the baby bottle, a few sharp raps to the noggin, the creation of monsters.
The first monster I remember terrifying me as a kid was the dreaded Under Toe. I’ve talked about this little bastard before. Long story short, when the kids went into the ocean, the parents would yell “Look out for the undertow!” over and over. Not knowing what this word meant, my mind quickly formed a monster: there must be a giant toe living in the ocean, ready to eat bad kids! I mention him again because a picture of him has finally been captured. The Under Toe does indeed exist. This may be too scary for the more sensitive readers. Look if you dare:
Then there was the Green Man. I don’t know where he came from; maybe he was an offshoot of The Incredible Hulk. Every kid in our neighborhood had nearly peed their pants at least once with thoughts of The Green Man, who, our parents promised, would grab us, kill us, and eat us if we dared to disobey. The Green Man is still lurking in the shadows of a trailer somewhere, ready to devour another naughty WT kid.
And finally, the most dreaded of all: Going To Church. There’s nothing worse for a WT kid used to running wild to have to clean up, wear uncomfortable fancy clothes and horrors, sit still for three hours straight. This was the moms’ card to play, because no WT dad ever set foot in a church, except on the rare occasion of trying to make up with his wife after a particularly bad bender or beating. Never lasted long, though.
The dreaded Going To Church…I still get cold sweats.
What were your monsters?
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November 9th, 2005 at 1:10 am
My grandmother lived on a ranch with no running water. The bathroom was a 2 seater outhouse. My uncle used to scare us by telling us about the Green Hand. While going to the bathroom, the Green Hand would unexpectadly grab you and pull you down into the “stuff”. Supposedly he had a brother who was lost to the green hand when he was younger. None of us grandkids wasted any time doing our business in the outhouse.
November 9th, 2005 at 3:19 am
Hi Brent! The green HAND? The green MAN? Coincidence? I think not. I knew he was real! That\’s a great story, though…I love the idea of a 2-seater outhouse. You really gotta love somebody to go potty with them.
Hmm…no water, outhouse…any chance you\’re related to me? 
November 9th, 2005 at 7:07 am
Let’s see … I was quite convinced there was a giant alligator under my bed, and every morning I feared that if I stepped down from my bed, it would bite my foot and drag me under. So I’d always jump from my bed as far away from it, and as close to the door as I could.
For some reason, I never worried about monsters or giant toe things ;)It was usually some kind of animal, like alligators or sharks.
Oh, and for years I was conviced that all of my teachers lived on a cloud where they could watch me at all times. So I was scared to go to the bathroom or shower or anything because I was scared they were watching me, and that made me nervous.
November 9th, 2005 at 7:27 pm
Oh, little kid Ingrid is so adorable! Gators under the bed? Eek!! I love the teachers watching you from the cloud–so funny! The most original monster I’ve ever heard of.
I used to think teachers didn’t use the bathroom.