The Bearded Woman
So…we all know that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got hitched this weekend…well, a week before this elaborate show in Italy this weekend…and now Kate Cruise’s life is over. We’ll never recover her. She’s gone forever. So just a few more tidbits that are starting to trickle out that I thought y’all might find interesting. 1. The three minute kiss. It’s like the three hour tour only grosser and more disturbing. Who wants to see them kiss for three effing minutes? Caleeeeeerly this is a way for Tom to prove he’s a manly man that he can take his new bride and stick his tongue in her mouth for a whole three minutes. Katie will never see that tongue again for that long ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. [Source] 2. Why? Because Tom keeps bringing men with him wherever he goes. Case in point – his honeymoon. He brings a dude. Some high ranking member of the Church of Scientology. Tom, Katie, and this guy. To the Maldives. I can say it over and over and over again and it’s always weird, always creepy, and always stinking of a furry beard that needs to be trimmed. [Source]
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