Nip/Tuck - “Willy Ward”
Welcome to this week’s episode rundown of Nip/Tuck entitled “Willy Ward.” Such a happy name, no? Anyhooooo, as per usual we will break it down by plotline, and we’ve got some doooooozies today. Where shall I start? Mmmmmmm, I’ll start with Matt and Kimber.
That’s right, Matt and Kimber are back and they’re having marital problems. Shocker, shocker. Well, technically they’re having sex problems. Kimber meets with her counselor from the Church of Scientology to ask her how to handle her boring sex life with Matt. As to be expected, the crazy Scientologist lady asks whether or not Kimber is following her relationship Scientology principals. While this woman is speaking, Kimber starts having visions…of herself…as her old sexy porn star self. She’s like her own angel and devil on her shoulders. The “devil” Kimber is the questioning one – what is Kimber doing being a part of the Church, what happened to her old sexy self – the Scientologist counselor gets frustrated that Kimber isn’t paying attention so she leaves. Kimber attempts to relax on the couch, but can’t seem to escape her conscious that is basically kicking her ass.
So Matt, obviously feeling the boredom/problems himself, goes to the McNamara/Troy offices to get a little sexvice from Christian. He stumbles into Sean, though, in the waiting room. Sean reminds Matt that he is his father also, and can be a good source of advice. Well, once Matt says that he and Kimber are having sexual problems, Matt turns all Dr. Ruth on his arse throwing one medically technical question after another. Matt pulls his “dad, this is totally why I wanted to talk to Christian moment,” and then Sean snaps out of it and gets disturbingly graphic. And by disturbingly graphic, I mean that he proceeds to suggest that the way to get Kimber hot is to treat her like the porn star she is, get a little rough, and then goes into detail about what he did with Kimber. Of course, instead of taking this advice as helpful, it only reminds Matt that if that is what Sean did with Kimber in one sexual exploit he cannot imagine the types of things Christian did with her.
Kimber comes into their apartment from running some errands to find Matt and an entire camera crew in their bedroom. Matt tells her that he’s hired this crew because they’re going to make a porn – just for their personal viewing pleasure – and he’s even hired Kimber’s mentor, Lena, to be their director. After a little coaxing, Kimber agrees and they proceed to make their video. Within 30 seconds of starting to film, Kimber gets this look on her face that said a thousand words – some of those words being “OH HELL YEAH GIVE IT TO ME BABY I LOVE BEING A PORN STAR.”
Well, Kimber and Matt have seemed to rejuvenated their sex life after the filming and find the role playing thing works well for them. So well, in fact, that they even enjoy getting busy in public places – like, say, the OBGYN’s office while Kimber and Matt are there on a four month check-up. The gyno (also known as Brenda and Brandon’s dad from 90210), and proceeds to intimate that rough sexual activity might not be healthy for the baby. At once I wonder, does he know about the video…and…I realize that he is a creepy Scientology doctor. Turns out that Lena, the mentor, threw the sex tape up on her website and a member of the Church found it online. So now Kimber’s soul is probably damned to hell, but hey…she’s got her sex life back.
Tada, on to plotline #2 which is just an unce more exciting than plotline #1. Sean. Poor poor Sean. He’s still so depressed and it’s pretty obvious he is feeling jealous of Christian and how well his life is going. The two guys are in a consultation with a bodacious looking chick who wants her tatas done. Christian is flirting with her. Sean is trying to be a professional doctor man. The woman tells Sean that she really just wants Christian to be her doctor – basically because she thinks he’s hot and wants to date him. Christian tells her that he’s engaged, and even though she’s disappointed, she still wants him to be her surgeon. So in the middle of surgery, Sean walks in and tells Christian he’s there to help. Christian tells Sean to back off and just because his ego was bruised does not mean that he needs help in the OR. This is when Liz delivers one of the best lines ever which was, paraphrasing, along the lines of “that’s why God gave women two breasts … so each of you can have one.” Um, awesome. As Sean is about to dig into boobie left, another nurse comes in and tells him that his next appointment arrived for his consultation.
Sean goes to this consultation and it turns out that the patient, Willy Ward, is a ventriloquist who wants a facelift to look like his dummy, Ralphie. Clearly the man is troubled and has attachment issues to this puppet thing. I have to insert the editorial note that this is by far my favorite sub-plot to date on Nip/Tuck. For some reason, this whole bit strikes me as hilarious. Sad, yes, but hilarious nonetheless. Comic gold? When Sean tells Willy that instead of plastic surgery he should get a new puppet, Ralphie lunges for Sean. Yep, that got an LOL outta me. In the midst of this, Sean has a flashbacky dream sequence imagining Christian as his better looking dummy. We all know where this one’s going.
So before the operation begins on Willy, he talks to Sean about his Ralphie and is concerned about his well-being while he is in surgery. Sean assures him that Ralphie will be fine. Willy thanks Sean for actually going through with this surgery – the guy knows it’s a bit nutty, but he literally cannot stop himself. So in the middle of Willy’s surgery, who comes in the OR? Yeah, Poppy. She’s come to try and convince Liz to talk to her … to call her back. She’s visibly distressed and upset. It’s clear now that the two have broken up. Once Poppy leaves, Sean’s all, “I didn’t know you two broke up, how are you?” Liz is all, “I’m sad, but I know it’s the best thing.” Then she launches into a monologue about how Poppy smells like flowers even when she’s stanky dirty and she loves her, but she just wasn’t happy so blah blah blah it felt right. Sean understands how he feels because he’s depressed, not because he’s broken up with his lesbian lover.
As Sean takes Willy’s stitches out, all Willy can talk about it showing Ralphie. Willy seems to be thrilled with the results, but wants to know what Ralphie thinks. Of course, when Ralphie comes out of the closet he tells Willy that he looks terrible. Sean is watching this like the train wreck that it is. He screams at Willy to just put the puppet down, and then Ralphie tells Sean that Willy can’t put him down because he doesn’t know who is he without Ralphie. INSERT CHRISTIAN REFERENCE BECAUSE WE KNOW IT’S GOING TO COME SOONER OR LATER.
Now, we’re going to take a break from story line #2 to go into story line #3. I promise I’ll finish up dos later, but just effing trust me. So number 3 – Christian, Michelle, Wilbur, James – basically the cluster-f that is the rest of this show. Christian and the gang go to the park like the perfect familia that they are now…apparently. He wants Michelle to adopt Wilbur along with him – he wants her to be his mommy. She’s totally unsure she wants that responsibility and says she’ll need to think about it. Little do they know, though, that crazy pants James is spying on them from outside the park gates. James gets on her cell phone, calls her “guys,” and asks what the value of children’s kidneys are. Oh no she didn’t. Oh yes she did. How will this unfold? The suspense is murderous…wah wah wah.
Christian is at his office, and who found her way inside? Gina. That’s right, carazee Gina. She tells Christian that she’s cleaned up her act and wants to be a part of Wilbur’s life. Christian’s like, nuh uh no way, but Gina is fairly adamant that she wants to be Wilbur’s mommy again and wants to share custody with Christian. She looks sane, but we all know looks can be deceiving….
Cut to Michelle walking into her apartment and there is James chillin’ with Wilbur in the living room. Michelle flips out, grabs Wilbur, and demands that James get out of the apartment or she’ll kill her. James mumbles some cryptic statement about Wilbur being plump and juicy and then leaves. Weeeeeeeeird.
Michelle, Christian and Wilbur are at dinner. Michelle tells Christian she’s decided to adopt Wilbur – she just cannot imagine her life without him. Coincidentally, the adoption papers are already on the table with a pen out so Michelle just signs away. And in walks Gina, who apparently had followed them to the restaurant. She freaks out because Christian denied her request for custody. When she learns that Michelle is going to be adopting Wilbur, she grabs the papers and rips them up. Christian restrains her, but she goes all ballistic and shizz. She makes it very clear that she’s not going to give up fighting for Wilbur until she has him back.
Christian, Michelle and Wilbur are back at the park. Christian sees a woman who he thinks is Gina, freaks out, and goes over to yell at her. Turns out, it’s just a stranger – clearly he’s a tad paranoid. Michelle is watching this happen, and tells a little girl at the park (who also happened to ask to play with Wilbur at exactly this moment) to watch Wilbur and she goes over to Christian. Oooh, but beware – James is looming outside the park grounds again. By the time Christian and Michelle look back to the swings, Wilbur is gone and the little girl watching him said that he left with “the lady.” Ok, we knew this was going to happen. We also know that, even though it’s not spelled out for us, we’re supposed to think (as Michelle does) that James took him. Christian, on the other hand, thinks Gina took him. But, hello, we know it was James.
Michelle goes back the apartment and is frantically looking around the apartment for something. She’s on the phone with Christian who is assuring her that they’ll find Wilbur. I’m feeling sad for Christian, knowing that he’s about to lose his son and all, and then whammo – James comes in the apartment pointing a gun at Michelle. Michelle demands to know what James did with Wilbur and here comes the awfulness – James tells Michelle that she had a son who died of kidney failure when he was 18 months old. I, personally, think this is irony at its finest. Michelle gets it – James killed Wilbur, and she breaks down crying. James is babbling on about loss and pain and loss and pain, and then throws out a line about how she lost Michelle to her new life and can’t take any more pain. She then takes the gun, points it at herself, and pulls the trigger. At that moment, the phone rings, and it’s Christian saying that he found Wilbur and he’s fine.
Yep, that’s right – GINA TOOK HIM. Ooooh, crazy plot twist you writers you. Gina took Wilbur from the park, and he wouldn’t stop crying. She thought he’d like being with her because she’s his mother. Turns out, she doesn’t have a motherly bone in her body, and she doesn’t want him anymore. She says goodbye and leaves Christian’s office.
So this is where we’re going to wrap all the stories back together. Christian, Sean and Michelle are sitting together in the break room and the engaged ones are telling Sean what happened. Sean freaks out a little that he had no idea any of this was going on – James being Michelle’s pimp, Wilbur being kidnapped – he just feels so out of the loop. Michelle steps in and makes excuses/defends their reasoning, but Sean doesn’t care. Christian starts telling Sean how happy he is in his life now – how all the puzzle pieces are fitting together. Sean leans in and tells Christian he wants out – he wants to be bought out of the practice. He is leaving Miami. He isn’t happy, and he needs a change. He doesn’t know who he is without Christian and he needs to go find himself.
Cut to Michelle leaving the offices and walking to her car in the garage. She gets in, and Escobar Gallardo is in the passenger seat. He tells her that James was under his employ, and now that she is dead Michelle will be working for him now. He pulls out a gun, points it at her, and tells her to drive. NOW THAT’S A PLOT TWIST. Stay tuned to see what happens next week in the season finale.
Instant Del.icio.us Bookmark This - 
|
| RSS for this post's categories: ">Celebrity Gossip & News
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, December 6th, 2006 at 1:49 pm and is filed under .
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response.
Trackback:
