Scarlett Johanssen is the Fattest Woman Alive

…in her mind.

I have fat days and accept that I’m never going to be real thin.
I know what I look like when I wake up in the morning after three hours sleep. Sometimes I feel, ‘OK, this is a good day’, and other times I wake up and think, ‘Oh my God, I need a hat today.’

Uh…if Scarlett Johanssen is fat then I am OBESE. [Source]